It takes a man.

This is my reply to a previous blog post of mine, Not another single Mum. In that post I talked about women who bring up their children without the father, through choice or otherwise.

Unfortunately there are some men out there who are not a constant fixture in their children’s lives. There are some who were left with no option to leave, and there are some who make the conscious decision to leave their children, and the mother of their children behind.

Far too often mothers are left to raise their children on their own, with only the support of family and friends. It’s a real shame that a child should be left without a father figure to look up to, and learn from. A fathers job is to protect, teach, and provide for his children, however many men do not share my opinion.

After speaking to some single mothers a re-occurring theme arises when they attempt to find a new man to share their lives with. Most men they date, are only looking for a short-term, non committed fling, opposed to a long-term future.

I fully understand that for a man to join an already established family, and attempt to gain both the mother’s and child’s trust is not easy, but for a man who would willingly date a woman whom he knows has a child and not want to have a relationship with the child in any capacity is not ideal by any means.

Luckily there are men out there who are willing to put their own agendas behind them, and join an already established family whilst having a profound and positive effect. These guys give their time and effort not only because they have fallen for a woman but because they are willing to raise and love somebody else’s child. These guys are a credit to them selves.

I’m sure you are all familiar with the saying “anyone can be a father, but it takes a man to be a dad.” This means DNA makes you a father, but giving your hand, time, knowledge and love to the child makes you a dad.

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If you know one of these guys then I suggest you take a moment to appreciate what they have actually committed to.

If you are one of these men then I commend you, you stepped up when you were needed most.

As for the men who have ignored their responsibilities because they think their life would be better without a kid in it. You don’t know what you’re missing!

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7 thoughts on “It takes a man.

  1. This is great, my step dad took me on as his own as my dad was a waste of space. Even when he and my mum had my sister he still treated me as his own. He even gave me away at my wedding. So many men don’t get appreciated for being a proper dad when they aren’t bonded by blood. X

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  2. Mark Chandler

    As a man who not couldn’t but wouldn’t want to imagine life without his children in it but had a father that walked away from me my 2 brothers and a sister this article hits home on a massive scale, me and my children’s mum are not longer to together but that didn’t stop me from having equal time with my children I have them for a week on week off pattern and believe me understand that if I could have them full time I would but they love their mother and to me it’s best for them in my honest opinion there is no excuse for a father/dad to leave his children, if things don’t work out with the mother this isn’t the children’s fault and your love for them should never waver, but to get back on track and finish up I agree with most points in this article as a father of 2 a step father of 2 keep up the good work.

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